


i won't hesitate (just tell me where to start)

by avengercarol



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame New Timeline, Canon Compliant, Fix-It, M/M, Post-Avengers (2012)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 16:56:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19398436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avengercarol/pseuds/avengercarol
Summary: “Bucky is alive.”In the grand scheme of things, Steve shouldn’t have been surprised to hear someone say that Bucky was alive. In the past few years, or decades, to the rest of the world, he had experienced an unfathomable number of unlikely situations, from being turned into a super soldier to cheating death when he crashed the Valkyrie into the Arctic. This news only added to the ever growing list of impossible scenarios that had somehow become true.





	i won't hesitate (just tell me where to start)

**Author's Note:**

> based on this tumblr post i made after endgame: 
> 
> in the new 2012 timeline steve knows that buckys alive and the strike team thinks steves hydra and would therefore probably tell him about the winter soldier and long story short 2012 steve breaks bucky out of hydra and kills pierce/rumlow/sitwell/the rest of the nazis 2 years before main timeline steve and also steve and bucky start dating

“Bucky is alive.”

That shocking statement was the only thing going through Steve’s mind when he woke up, on the floor, hours after the words had been said to him.

In the grand scheme of things, Steve shouldn’t have been surprised to hear someone say that Bucky was alive. In the past few years, or decades, to the rest of the world, he had experienced an unfathomable number of impossible situations, from being turned into a super soldier to cheating death when he crashed the Valkyrie into the Arctic. 

Not that he actually believed Bucky was alive. He was there when his best friend was blasted through a hole in the side of that goddamn train and fell hundreds of feet to his death. He hadn’t forgotten the look on his face as he struggled to hang onto the railing, as he reached as far he could for Steve’s hand but couldn’t reach far enough. Steve would never forget the feeling of the train moving underneath him, when all he wanted was to let go and find Bucky at the bottom of the ravine. 

There was no way Bucky was alive. 

That’s why it hurt so much that his name was being used against him in a fight. If someone, Loki, he had initially presumed, knew enough about him to mention Bucky’s name unprompted, that meant they knew how much Bucky meant to him. The man he fought that looked so much like himself had used Bucky’s name to hurt him. He knew it would distract Steve, and he got what he wanted. 

Then, he used the scepter and disappeared.

It had to have been Loki. The other Avengers had sent a warning saying that Loki had disappeared with the Tesseract; although, Steve wasn’t sure why he would’ve stayed in the tower and risked being found once he had it. There was no other explanation for how Steve had fought what appeared to be himself. Loki had obviously used magic to transform himself into Steve and escaped with his scepter, which meant the Avengers were in for an even bigger problem. 

How would Loki know anything about Bucky? Steve wondered. 

He had done some research once he got out of the ice, curious as to how the story of Captain America was being told. He wasn’t surprised to find out that he had been turned into a propaganda piece, a symbol of the American ideal. That’s what many had told him he was created to be, whether they meant it literally or figuratively was up to interpretation. However, he was surprised to see that Bucky had been turned into a sidekick, just a footnote in the story of the hero that was Captain America.

Anyone that had really known the story of Steve Rogers knew that wasn’t true. Bucky had always been the heart of the story. It was his capture and rescue that turned Steve into a hero, and it was his death that paved the way for Steve’s legacy as the man willing to sacrifice his life to save millions. 

Everything Steve had become was because of Bucky.

But there was no way Loki would have known how important Bucky actually was to Steve, right? There was no reason that an actual god from another planet would know anything about the minor details of American history. Steve wasn’t even sure if Bucky was popularly known by his nickname or if he was just remembered as James Barnes. Either way, the odds that Loki knew who he was at all weren’t very high. 

He kept that thought in his mind as he made his way to the common floor, hoping to find the rest of his new team. He figured he should probably explain that Loki had gotten away. Whether or not the person he fought had been actually been Loki didn’t seem to matter in this situation, because either way, he was gone. 

Steve wasn’t sure if he should actually bring up the fact that he had somehow ended up fighting himself to the other Avengers. He knew that it would probably be beneficial in case there ended up being a real threat, but he also wanted to save himself from the embarrassment of telling anyone that he got his ass kicked by himself.

Getting off the elevator, he realized telling the team would be unnecessary, as they were watching the security camera footage of it happening.

“That’s enough,” Steve told them, trying to preserve his status as vaguely respected team leader.

Surprisingly, to him, they listened. Tony pressed a button, pausing the video, and everyone turned around to face Steve.

“So,” Tony began. “Who’s your friend?”

“I believe it was Loki. He had the scepter, and I tried to stop him, but he escaped,” Steve explained.

“It wasn’t Loki,” Thor responded. “He already had the cube. He wouldn’t have risked being caught by one of us to go back for the scepter.”

Steve decided that explanation made sense. If someone was able to take off with one object of incredible, unknown power, it didn’t make sense for them to risk that by trying to obtain another.

That raised a different question though. “If it wasn’t Loki, then who was it?”

The five other Avengers shared a look with each other before turning back to Steve. Natasha was the one to answer him, saying, “There’s something you should see.”

Everyone turned to face the screens with the security footage again. Instead of playing the fight between Steve and himself, Tony pushed some buttons and brought up the feed from a nearby street corner. Steve was about to ask why this was a relevant location to the issue at hand, when a group of people appeared, seemingly out of thin air. 

It took a second for him to realize that it wasn’t just a random group of people who had materialized on the streets of New York City. The quartet was comprised of what appeared to be older versions of himself, Bruce as the Hulk, and Tony, as well as a man he never seen before, all dressed in hideous red, white, and black uniforms. The group talked for a moment before splitting up.

As Tony pressed another button on the screen, Steve could feel Natasha looking at him, probably trying to gauge his reaction for what was unfolding in front of them. This time, the video was from inside the tower. Tony and a now very tiny version of the unknown man were watching as Natasha and Clint gave Loki’s scepter to a group of SHIELD agents, then proceeded to follow them to the ground floor. Steve saw Secretary Pierce approach the Avengers, asking for the cube, before something went wrong and Tony was on the floor, with Thor summoning lightning to try and help. At some point during all of this, the cube fell to the floor and Loki was able to escape. 

The camera cut again, this time to an elevator, as someone that looked like Steve got on and started talking to the STRIKE team. There was no audio, so the Avengers were unsure of what was said, but “Steve” eventually got off with the scepter, which was when the real Steve showed up and they fought.

“Okay, you can turn it off,” Steve said, completely aware of what happened after that. “So, do we have any theories on who those people were and why they looked like us?”

“You’re not gonna like it,” Natasha warned him.

Steve noticed that everyone seemed to look at Tony and Bruce after that, so he did too, assuming that they had some idea ready to explain about how this had happened.

Bruce sighed and said, “Time travel.”

Over the past few days, weeks, years, Steve had heard and experienced a lot of things that didn’t make sense to him. He still wasn’t sure he completely understood how he had been turned into a super soldier, or how he had been unfrozen, or how he had just fought an alien army, but time travel seemed to be on a whole other level in terms of things that were possible. It sounded more like something out of one of the science fiction books Bucky had read when they were kids than something that was actually feasible.

“Time travel?” Steve asked.

The scientist nodded before continuing. “Obviously we have no idea how it works, but for now it’s the only explanation that makes sense. These people, that looked like us, just show up out of nowhere and know exactly what they’re after: the cube and the scepter. Our theory is that they were sent from the future to obtain them.”

Steve knew Bruce was continuing to explain why and how the time travelers might have come, but he couldn’t focus on what he was saying. The only thing he could hear in his mind was the other version, or apparently the older version, of himself saying, “Bucky is alive.” If that really was him, if that really was Steve from the future, who had lived and experienced much more than this Steve had, then that might mean that Bucky was still alive. It might mean there was still a chance. 

It also meant that Steve had left Bucky all those years ago. He left him when he fell of the train and never sent a search party. He left him when he crashed the Valkyrie into the ice without saying goodbye. He left him for nearly 70 years and hadn’t even considered that maybe somehow he survived the fall. 

But if Bucky had survived, wouldn’t someone have told him? He had been given a file with information regarding what happened to his teammates after his death, but nothing on Bucky. He had assumed that was because his best friend had already been considered killed in action when he went under, but if Bucky was alive, wouldn’t that have been changed?

Before he could spend more time registering what the lack of information meant about Bucky, he realized that someone was calling his name. It was Natasha, still looking at him like she was trying to analyze his reactions.

“I have to go,” Steve said, making his way toward the elevator. 

The doors opened, and he stepped inside, ignoring the calls from his teammates asking where he was going. He pushed the button for the ground floor, but not before Natasha could follow him inside. 

The elevator began moving, and neither one of them said anything. Steve felt like it was going much slower than it ever had before. 

“What did future you say that made you pause?” Natasha finally said.

Steve had hoped that no one had noticed his mistake and had just assumed he had been beat by not moving out of the way fast enough. He had really hoped that no one had noticed his mistake was the result of something the other Steve had said to him.

If anyone was going to figure it out, it made sense that it was Natasha. He didn’t know much about the other Avengers, but he did know that she was a master spy. She had probably noticed that detail of the encounter the first time she saw it, which explained why she kept looking at Steve as he watched it. 

“It was nothing,” was the only thing he could reply.

“Captain America is told something that makes him freeze in the middle of a fight, and it’s nothing?”

“Just drop it.”

The elevator had finally reached the ground floor, and Steve moved out. Natasha stayed on, or Steve assumed she did, since he didn’t notice her following him anymore. He planned to leave the building, hoping to get some fresh air and clear his head so he could attempt to make sense of the news that Bucky was alive. 

He was almost out the door when he heard someone behind him call his name. He turned around and saw one of the SHIELD agents walking toward him. Steve was confused at first, since he barely knew any of the people that worked for the organization, but then he remembered that the future Steve had said something in the clip of the elevator that made the STRIKE team hand over the scepter, so he figured it could be worthwhile to stick around and hear what this guy had to say.

“Hey Cap, if you aren’t busy tonight you should join us for a little initiation. I think it’ll be worth your while,” The man, Steve thought he could remember that his name was Brock Rumlow, said.

It wasn’t that Steve didn’t trust or like the STRIKE team, but he did think there was something suspicious about them. They all seemed like they were hiding something, but he didn’t have a clue what it could be, since he had just met all of them within the past few days. 

He assumed he was just being skeptical of everyone after waking up in a completely different time period. After all, SHIELD was founded in part by Peggy, that was one of the only reasons Steve agreed to join, and he trusted that that meant everything was going according to the way she wanted it.

Steve also didn’t really want to go out with anyone that night. He had just found out that Bucky was somehow still alive, and he wanted to focus on figuring out how that happened and where he was now. But, future Steve had been able to convince this guy, Rumlow, to hand over the scepter, so Steve decided it probably wouldn’t be a complete waste of his time.

“Sure, I’ll come,” Steve agreed before leaving. 

He assumed that someone would just text or email or figure out some other new form of communication to let him know when and where to meet that night. Or if they didn’t, he’d just have to miss out. 

It was infinitely more important for him to get back to his apartment and spend as much time trying to figure out what happened to his best friend than to stand around conversing over the logistics of what would probably be a boring night of coworker bonding.

-

Steve parked his motorcycle outside of his Brooklyn apartment, then headed inside. The apartment was a lot bigger than the one he had lived in back in the 40s, but it didn’t feel any more like home. Nothing about this new Brooklyn felt like home. He wasn’t sure if it was because the city had changed, or if he had. 

There was also the issue of the person that had made Brooklyn feel like home not being there any longer. 

Steve didn’t know if anywhere would ever feel like home without Bucky. What meaning could be contained in four walls and a roof that could ever compare to all the time spent with his best friend back in their real home? 

But, apparently, there was a chance that Bucky was still out there, still alive and breathing. Somehow, according to himself from the future, Bucky had survived the fall.

Luckily for Steve, he had been provided with a laptop when he had been let out of the ice and, ultimately, SHIELD’s custody. He assumed it had been given to him as a way to allow him to explore the future at his own pace, but he had mostly been using it do research on what the organization itself was and had been doing over the course of 70 years. Most information wasn’t public, but based on the little bit he found, he believed that it was trustworthy enough that he didn’t mind the idea of working there. Peggy and Howard were his friends, back in the day, so he decided to stick around and help continue the work they had begun after his death.

Opening the SHIELD issued laptop, Steve pulled up the search engine and began to type. 

Bucky Barnes

A few thousand results came up, most of them with links to websites dealing with history. Before clicking anything, he noticed that the side of the page had a space reserved for general information about Bucky, and that it had his date of death listed. Steve realized this meant that the possibility of Bucky being alive was not public knowledge and, potentially, not even private knowledge.

What if future me was the one that found Bucky? Steve thought. Do I need to go back to Europe and search every inch of that goddamn ravine to find him?

Steve continued browsing a few more websites, realizing that every single one of them had Bucky listed as killed in action.

“Barnes was killed after falling from a train during a mission,” one read.

“Steve Rogers was the only one present to witness the death of his best friend,” another helpfully noted.

“Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service to this country,” one misinformed.

Steve knew that anyone who said Bucky died for his country was lying. No one else knew it, but Steve did. Steve had asked him if he was ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death, and Bucky told him no.

Bucky was following Steve, and he died for it. He died because he trusted Steve to make the best decisions for his team, and Steve let him down. 

But there was still the lingering question, the hidden thought, the impossible dream that somehow, someway Bucky survived. If Steve was going to trust himself, himself from a completely different time, then that meant Bucky was still out there.

That meant Steve had a second chance with Bucky, and he didn’t screw it up. It meant maybe, just maybe, that could be happy together in a time period when their lives wouldn’t be marked by poverty or war or death.

Before Steve could continue on that train of thought, his SHIELD issued cell phone beeped with a text from Rumlow, telling him to meet him in an hour at the address he sent. Steve had never been to the area the location was in, but he was pretty sure the building was a bank, based on what the map on his phone showed. He assumed they would just be meeting there before going somewhere else, probably a bar.

After all, it wasn’t like there would be anything interesting going on in a bank in the middle of the night. 

-

Arriving outside of the dimly lit bank, Steve noticed two figures waiting for him. One he was expecting, Brock Rumlow, and the other he was not. Steve hadn’t been introduced to all the important political figures of the decade, but he had done his enough research on his own to recognize Alexander Pierce, the Secretary of the World Security Council. Steve looked between the two, trying to figure out why someone of such high political importance was joining in on what he presumed would just be a night of awkward bonding between some of the agents. He decided not to think too much into it, knowing that he hadn’t really been around long enough to fully understand the chain of command at SHIELD.

He was surprised to notice that it seemed as though Pierce wasn’t expecting to see him either. As he walked nearer, he could hear the end of a hushed conversation between the two.

“-you sure that he’s actually on our side? You do remember how he ended up in the ice?” Pierce questioned harshly.

It was pretty easy for Steve to figure out that they were talking about him.

“He knew who we were today, that’s why we even gave him the scepter. Besides, we can use this as a test. If he tries anything, it won’t be too hard to stop him.”

Steve genuinely had no clue what they were talking about, and that seemed dangerous. Steve from the future knew something really important, and he had no idea what it was or why it mattered. Showing up felt like a bad idea, but Steve knew he couldn’t back out now. 

“Fellas,” Steve greeted, deciding to play up the 1940’s charm, not knowing how they expected him to act.

“Hey, Rogers,” Rumlow replied, still on edge from his earlier conversation. “Allow me to introduce you to Alexander Pierce.”

Steve turned to face the older man, who extended his hand. Steve shook it.

“Must have been rough, waking up to find out how much time had passed and how much had changed,” Pierce commented.

It was what everyone said when they met him. Everyone wanted to know how he felt about things in history that he knew nothing about. They wanted his opinion on social changes, technology, politics, fashion, pop culture, and he was just trying to take it all in. It was a lot to learn, and he had only had a few days.

But when Pierce asked, there was an edge. There was an answer he wanted, something specific he wondered, and Steve didn’t know what it was.

“I’m just thankful to have woke up at all,” seemed to be the answer that appeased most people. There was something about the reminder that Steve hadn’t actually expected to come out alive that usually shifted the mood from curious and excited to remorseful.

It seemed to be a good enough answer for Pierce, who gestured toward the door of the bank and said, “Well, we don’t want to just around outside all night. Follow me.”

That was another surprise for Steve; they were staying at the bank. He was now completely confused as to why he was there, as he couldn’t think of anything that would be going on in a bank in the middle of the night, especially something that would concern one of the most powerful men in the world. 

There was a table set up inside what Steve assumed was the lobby, and the trio sat down. It was dark, dark enough that no light could be seen from outside, and only the faint outlines of the furniture could be seen, even with Steve’s enhanced vision. That made it clear that this location was highly secretive. 

Steve wondered if the owner of the bank even knew they were there.

“Now, Captain, I’m sure you can understand why we’d be worried about inviting you here,” Pierce began.

He didn’t, but he could play the part. “Of course.”

“With your history, it doesn’t actually make sense for you to be here, especially not as a friend.”

Steve had no idea where this was going, or why he shouldn’t be here, but he let Pierce continue. “Much like the world as a whole, it seems like you’ve gone through some changes. I have to say, when the STRIKE team told me that you were part of Hydra, I was quite surprised. After all, that was what Captain America was supposed to fight against, but it seems as though you’ve finally come around. Or, we’ll see how you react to our little test. I personally think you’ll enjoy it.”

Hydra. That was who Pierce was, who Rumlow was. That was why they didn’t believe he was on their side, why they were counting this as a test, why they thought he’d only be there as an enemy. Because he was. He had died to protect the world from Hydra, but now its leaders were convinced he was their ally, all because of Steve from the future.

Oh god, he thought. Future me knows that they’re Hydra. Is future me part of Hydra? 

There was no way, no way in hell that Steve would ever, ever join that evil organization, if it could even be called that. There had to be a mistake, something must happen. But what? 

Future Steve said Bucky was alive. Future Steve knew about Hydra. Maybe there was a connection. Maybe he should stick around and see how this all plays out instead of just bashing Pierce’s face in for even insinuating that he would join them.

Steve realized he had been sitting in silence for too long, and Pierce and Rumlow were staring at him, unimpressed, probably expecting him to freak out and attack. He couldn’t. He had to see what this test was. “Like you said before, at lot has changed.”

It was true, a lot had changed. He wasn’t telling a lie or giving up his morals. It was a simple statement, and if Pierce wanted to warp it so it fit into his world view, he could. Steve wouldn’t go any further to make them believe him. As long as he kept it to short, basic sentences that gave no real opinion, he’d be fine. He could get out of there and figure out how to take them down.

“I suppose it has,” was the unsatisfied answer from Pierce. “Very well. If you want us to believe you, we’re going to have to test your loyalty. We can’t have you coming in here and learning our secrets only to report them to the first low life journalist you see on the street.”

Pierce stood up and began walking, Rumlow following him. Steve did the same, staying back a few steps. They continued down a dimly lit hallway toward the vault, or what looked like a vault. Steve was almost positive it wasn’t being used for its intended purpose, if the rest of the building was anything to go by. 

There were two guards by the door, both dressed in suits. Steve could see them both reaching for their obviously concealed weapons as their eyes landed on him, clearly not trusting him.

Pierce turned back to him. “Your reaction to what you’re about to see will be the indicator of whether or not we can trust you. If you react in a way that pleases me, I’ll believe your loyalty. If not, well, let’s just say the world will have to deal with mourning Captain America a second time.”

The conversation then shifted from between Pierce and Steve to between Pierce and the guards, as Steve was left standing there, wondering how the hell this had happened. Pierce was at the top of the world, but Steve had thought Hydra went under when he did. That’s what his death was supposed to for. 

And in SHIELD of all places. Pierce mentioned the STRIKE team, and Rumlow was heavily involved, so he had no idea how deep this ran. For all he knew, the entirety of the organization Peggy founded was infested with Nazis. Did Peggy know? Did the Avengers know?

There was no time for him to continue contemplating the logistics of Hydra’s reign of terror, because the door was opening, and Steve was pushed forward, into the unknown.

Stepping inside the vault, he understood why what was inside would make him question his supposed loyalty. Because it wasn’t a matter of what was inside, but who. 

And nothing could have prepared Steve to see his best friend, the most important person in his life, who was there for him when no one else was, bound to a chair in the center of the room with a dead look in his eyes. 

He shouldn’t have been able to recognize Bucky right away, so much had changed in the days, years, that had passed since he last saw Bucky, but he could never forget him. He would always, always know Bucky. His hair was longer now, very different from the styled look he always kept, even during the war. He looked stronger. He hadn’t aged at all over the course of 70 years.

Perhaps the biggest difference though was the metal arm that was fused into his shoulder amid of mess of pink scars. Steve couldn’t even begin to think about how that had come about, didn’t want to know what kind of pain it had brought.

Some kind of technician was sitting on a stool next to him, playing around with the plates of the arm, as Bucky sat there, unmoving. Steve could see sparks flying from the tool the man was using, but Bucky wasn’t reacting. Another was analyzing some screens around the chair Bucky was in, which seemed to display medical information that Steve couldn’t make out.

He didn’t seem to notice that anyone had even walked into the room.

The first thought that came to Steve’s mind was the conversation he had had with Peggy, immediately after Bucky fell. He had wanted nothing more than to get drunk, downing bottle after bottle of whatever alcohol he could get his hands on. Anything to help ease the pain, or to help him stop thinking about Bucky’s screams as he went down. Then Peggy walked in. Peggy walked in and told him that it wasn’t his fault, that it was Bucky’s choice to follow him. 

Into the jaws of death, that’s what Steve had said, and Bucky taken it literally, or so Steve had thought. Bucky had made his choice, according to Peggy, but this wasn’t it. This was so far from anything Bucky had done willingly. Bucky had chosen to die for Steve. He had chosen to pick up the shield, and Steve thought it cost him his life, but the real result was so much worse. 

Bucky hadn’t chosen to end up in a dusty bank vault, strapped to a chair as some technician played around with the wires in his new arm. He hadn’t chosen to be sitting there, with no sense of recognition, or even awareness, in his eyes. He hadn’t chosen to stay alive for 70 years, clearly in pain. 

He had chosen to follow Steve. Not Captain America, but Steve. And Steve failed him. 

He felt sick. He felt wrong. He felt disgusting. It was shocking that he hadn’t already thrown up all over the floor, but he supposed he had his super soldier reflexes to thank for that. That would definitely fall under the categorization of reactions Pierce didn’t want. 

So instead of releasing the sob that was building in his chest, Steve took a deep breath and tried to steady himself, knowing that the next few minutes, or hours, he had no idea how long Pierce wanted him there, would be rough.

It was at that point that Steve looked away from Bucky and took note of the rest of the room. Every agent and guard, with the exception of Pierce and Rumlow, had their guns drawn. Half were pointed at him, and half were pointed at Bucky. He wasn’t sure if those pointed at Bucky were to deter him or Bucky from acting out. 

“So, I take it you recognize the Asset,” was all Pierce could say. 

All Steve could do was nod, his eyes moving back to focus on Bucky, who hadn’t even reacted to hearing anyone speak. 

Hydra had stolen Bucky, taken everything from him, and couldn’t even use his goddamn name. Instead, they were treating him like he wasn’t even human, like he wasn’t there at all. 

“He doesn’t remember who you are, if you’re wondering why he’s not surprised to see you. He doesn’t even know who he is, which has allowed him to serve us well.”

Bucky didn’t remember Steve. Bucky had no idea who Steve was. Hydra had done something to Bucky to make him forget Steve, but he was all Steve could think about. 

It was too much. The room was too hot and there were too many people and Steve needed to get out, but he couldn’t. He was stuck there, but so was Bucky. 

“You should be proud of him. He’s shaped the century. Our enemies call him the Winter Soldier,” Pierce explained, when Steve continued to just stand there, not moving or saying a word.

Pierce wanted a reaction out of Steve. Probably a negative one, so he had an excuse to kill Steve on the spot, but Steve wouldn’t give him one. He’d pretend everything was fine so he could get the hell out of there and then come back with his shield and kill every Hydra asshole in the building. 

But he didn’t have his shield, or any weapon with him, and there were guns trained directly on him. This wasn’t a fight he could win, not at the moment. Plus, there was the possibility that if he took a step out of line, they’d hurt Bucky just to get to him, and he couldn’t have that.

“Where’d you find him?” Steve asked halfheartedly, not really wanting to hear the answer.

“I figured you knew that part of the story, Captain. After all, you were on that train in the Alps.”

That was what he didn’t want to hear. Steve had already blamed himself, already knew it was his fault that Bucky had died, or been presumed dead. He knew that Bucky would’ve been alive if he had made better decisions as a leader, but hearing Pierce confirm that stung. Knowing that fucking Hydra had taken advantage of his failure that day hurt almost as much as watching Bucky fall.

Steve was going to reply, he didn’t know with what, but one of the other technicians in the room spoke up first. “Mr. Secretary, there’s something you should know about the Asset’s mission today.”

“And what would that be?”

“Before he was sent out to monitor the attack on New York, we programmed him with the usual rendezvous point, but he never showed up. Agents were sent to recover him and found him wandering through Brooklyn, confused.”

Brooklyn. He went to Brooklyn. That had to be a good sign. He had tried to return home, maybe to their old apartment that Steve was sure no longer existed.

The look on Pierce’s face said it was anything other than good. “And why do you suppose that happened?”

“He’s been out of cryofreeze for too long. It’s been documented in the past that when he was left on his own too long he’s began to remember, um, things.”

That last part seemed to be directed straight at Steve. So, Bucky would remember him when he had brief moments of, well, the closest thing to freedom he would have. Maybe there was a sliver of hope Steve could grasp onto. Maybe if he could just get Bucky to glance his way, he’d recognize him, and Steve could have his best friend back. Maybe breaking Bucky out wouldn’t be impossible.

“Then put him back in the damn freezer,” Pierce commanded.

They couldn’t do that. They couldn’t take Bucky away from Steve, not again. Not when he was close to having him back. Steve didn’t even know what “the freezer” meant, but he knew he couldn’t let Bucky go back there.

The technician cleared his throat, “That’s the problem, sir. The cryofreeze chamber here malfunctioned a few days ago, which is why he’s been out for so long. The nearest operational one is located in Washington, D.C., and we can’t get a transport there for another two days due to the clean-up operation.”

Two days. That was all Steve had before Bucky was relocated to god knows where in the nation’s capital. Two days until he possibly lost Bucky forever unless he could pull off a miraculous rescue operation. 

He did it the first time Bucky was captured by Hydra, and he’d do it again.

Steve looked to Pierce, trying to gauge the man’s reaction. He looked furious. Furious at the thought of Bucky remembering Steve and jeopardizing all the plans he had. Furious at Steve for even being in the room to hear this. Furious at everyone who stood in way and caused problems for Hydra.

Maintaining eye contact with Steve, Pierce said, “Wipe him.”

In that instant, the two medical technicians that had been standing over Bucky when they first walked in reappeared. One began pushing a series of buttons on the side of the chair, and the other grabbed a small object from one of the trays nearby. Steve wasn’t completely sure what it was until he saw Bucky opening his mouth, then he realized it was a bite guard and felt even more nauseous than he already had. 

The same technician who reached for the mouth guard then pushed Bucky back in his chair, so he was leaning against it perfectly. The one running the computer pushed another button, and the entire atmosphere in the room changed. Restraints came over both of Bucky’s arms, the guards lowered their guns, and a buzz filled the air. 

Suddenly, the ring that had been attached to the top of the chair separated into two pieces, both moving the side of Bucky’s head. Pressing against his skull, they pulsed with electric shocks, and the screaming began. It was the worst sound Steve had ever heard, and he didn’t think he would ever forget it. 

The sight of Bucky, the strongest person Steve had ever known, helpless, getting his brain fried by their mortal enemies, would haunt Steve for the rest of his life, especially because he stood there, watching, doing nothing, too stunned to move.

“Get him out of here, would you?” Pierce said harshly to one of the guards near him, vaguely gesturing toward Steve. 

Steve could feel a hand on his arm, trying to push him out of the room, but his eyes were fixed on Bucky. He couldn’t look away. His best friend, who he had thought was dead, was sitting in front of him getting tortured, and there was nothing he could do about it without getting them both killed. 

He hadn’t wanted to live in a world without Bucky, but he didn’t think the universe was cruel enough to bring them back together in this way. 

With the sounds of Bucky’s screams filling the air, Steve was shoved out of the vault, and the door was slammed shut behind him. He heard someone, probably one of the other guards, trying to talk to him, telling him to leave, but he couldn’t make out of the words being said to him. His ears were ringing and his eyes were burning and his heart was breaking. 

Bucky was suffering, still, Steve could hear his cries, and Steve had stood there like a goddamn coward. He was a super soldier; he should’ve tried something. 

He had barely noticed that he was dragging himself out of the building until he felt the cool outside air hitting his skin. Taking one last glance at the building behind him, Steve ran away. He started running, and he didn’t stop until he was back at his apartment building, throwing open his front door. 

Ever since he received the serum, he hadn’t been able to feel out of breath while running; he had enough stamina to run a marathon without breaking a sweat, but running away from that bank, from Bucky, had him feeling more breathless than he had ever felt in life. He could hardly remember how to breathe, as inhaling and exhaling seemed so much less important than the fact that his best friend, his life line, the most important person in his world, was being tortured and had been for the entire time he under the ice.

In that moment, Steve realized he was only sure of one thing. He wasn’t sure how he survived so long in the ice, and he definitely wasn’t sure how Bucky had survived the fall, and he had no idea who Pierce and Rumlow really were, but he was damn sure that he was going to get Bucky out of there, even it meant burning the rest of the world to the ground.

-

Locking his apartment behind him, Steve turned around and leaned against his front door before bursting into tears. He slid down the wall with his head in hands, unable to comprehend what he had just seen.

He had died for nothing. It was as simple as that. He had died to avenge Bucky, and Bucky was still alive and suffering. He had died to take down Hydra, and they were still operating, but this time they had the support of the government, the American government. And Steve had no one. 

Or, he had one person. Bucky. Bucky was out there, and he needed help. Steve would save him, just like Bucky had always done for him. Just like he should’ve done on the train. 

Wiping his eyes, Steve began to think of a plan. He needed to get back in the vault. He needed to see Bucky again, to make sure he was okay, or as okay as he could be under captivity. Then, he could figure out a way to take down all the guards, and get Bucky out of there. Once he knew Bucky was safe, he could worry about getting Hydra out of SHIELD, or just getting rid of SHIELD altogether. 

He was working through these thoughts when he heard a noise, and the light turned on. Blinking at the sudden brightness, Steve noticed Natasha Romanoff, of all people, sitting at his kitchen table. 

“Is this a bad time?” Natasha asked casually. 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Steve asked in response, trying to keep his voice hard. It was difficult though, as his throat hurt from crying, and he was positive she had heard him sobbing. 

There was no way she couldn’t see the tear tracks running down his face. 

“You seemed like you were having a rough day earlier, thought I’d come check on you.”

“You broke into my apartment.”

“Are the details really that important? I thought you could use a friend.”

Steve couldn’t trust her. Not when he’d just found out that Hydra was posing as SHIELD. He couldn’t believe that she had innocently decided to visit him the same night he found out Bucky was alive, truly alive. 

But he could attempt to get some information from her. Whether or not she was actually here as a friend, he could use all the tips he could get.

“What do you know about Hydra?” Steve asked suddenly. 

Natasha looked at him curiously, not knowing what had inspired the question. “It was the Nazi science division back in World War II, led by Johann Schmidt. It was destroyed when you went into the ice.”

“What else do you know?”

“That’s about it.”

“Stop lying!” Steve yelled. 

“I only act like I know everything, Rogers,” Natasha responded, only slightly upset that she had been accused of lying by her new teammate. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve said, sighing. “As far as you know, is Hydra really, actually dead? Do you know what happened to the remaining members after I went under?”

Natasha seemed to consider this question for a moment before answering, which made Steve nervous. “After the war, SHIELD recruited German scientists with strategic value. One of the first was Arnim Zola. I think you already know who that was.”

With two words, Steve suddenly learned more information than he ever wanted to know. Zola being involved explained everything. It explained how Hydra had somehow grown inside SHIELD. It explained how Hydra had survived at all. 

Most importantly, it explained how Bucky was still alive. Zola had been there in Austria, when Steve found Bucky strapped to a table, scared out of his mind, recounting his serial number. He had been there when Steve first faced off against the Red Skull, lurking in the background as Bucky looked on with fear. Steve had known something terrible had happened while Bucky was in isolation, but he had never considered that he had been experimented on. He had never considered that Bucky had been given the same serum that he was, in an attempt to create another super soldier.

He realized it made sense. After the escape, Bucky was quieter and more withdrawn, which Steve had thought was natural considering the trauma he had just been forced to undergo. But Steve didn’t think that it had anything to do with the changes that could have been happening to Bucky’s body and mind. He was suddenly faster and stronger. He had always been an incredible sniper, but suddenly he was the best the army had ever seen. 

The signs were all there, but Steve had ignored them because he was too happy that his best friend was alive to think about anything else.

He still had questions, questions he hoped Natasha would be able to answer. “What do you know about James Barnes?”

The question might seem innocent enough. After all, Natasha had seen Steve sitting on floor crying, but if she was involved with Hydra in any way, he hoped that by asking her that question he would get a sign. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her, but at this point, he didn’t think he could trust anybody. There was no way of knowing how deep Hydra ran through SHIELD, and from what Steve knew, any one could be a suspect.

However, Natasha seemed genuinely confused by his question, so he assumed she wasn’t part of the terrorist organization that had infiltrated the intelligence agency and, more than likely, the entire American government. She asked, “Wasn’t he your old war buddy?”

Steve leaned his head back against the door. “In a way, yeah. We grew up together. We were inseparable. He was my best friend, and I don’t think I would’ve been able to live without him. I mean, I wasn’t able to live without him. I let him fall off a fucking train and then downed a plane into the Arctic because I couldn’t handle knowing that I couldn’t save him.”

“Well, I’m sure he’d be proud of you for saving the entire world.”

“Maybe, if me saving the world hadn’t meant that he’s spent the past 70 years suffering.”

Steve wasn’t sure when he decided that he was going to tell Natasha about his current predicament. There was something about the fact that she had broken into his apartment to make sure he was okay that reassured him that they could be friends, maybe, after this was over. Once he had Bucky back. 

“What?” 

“Have you ever heard of the Winter Soldier? I hadn’t, but I’ve only been back for a few days, so that isn’t surprising.”

Natasha’s face hardened at that. “How do you know about that?”

“So you have heard about him?” Steve asked, slightly surprised. 

She sighed, “A few years ago, I was in charge of escorting a scientist in Iran. When we were outside of Odessa, someone shot out our tires. The scientist and I were able to escape the car, but the Winter Soldier was there. I tried to cover him, but it was no use. The Winter Soldier shout him, through me,” Natasha explained, pulling her shirt up to show the scar left by the attack. 

“He’s credited with dozens of assassinations over the past 50 years. Nobody knows his identity or where’s he’s from. I’ve tried going after him, but it’s no use. He’s a ghost story,” she further explained. 

Steve stared at her for a moment, wondering if it was better or worse to reveal the truth knowing that Natasha had a personal connection to the case at hand. Deciding that she was currently the only person in the world he could trust, he said, “I know who the Soldier is, and exactly where to find him.”

Natasha looked back at him in disbelief. It was clear that she had in fact actually tried going after the Winter Soldier, with no luck. She had been unsuccessful in her mission, and she probably had wanted some form of revenge to make up for that. Unfortunately for her, Steve wouldn’t be able to offer any direct revenge on the soldier himself, but he did have another offer, one that would be beneficial to both himself, Natasha, and the world’s deadliest assassin. 

“How do you know?” she asked. 

So, Steve began the story of explaining everything that had happened that day. From finding out Bucky was alive from his future self to getting invited out by Rumlow and finally, to seeing Bucky strapped to that goddamn chair with no recognition in his eyes. She listened intently, carefully analyzing every word that came out of his month for more information. When he concluded the story, they sat quietly for a few minutes, both of them needing to take time to work through what had just been said. 

“You’re going after him,” Natasha said, eventually breaking the silence. 

It wasn’t a question. It would never be a question when it came to Bucky. There was no situation in which Steve didn’t go after Bucky. The reason Steve picked up the shield, really picked up the shield for a purpose, was on a mission to rescue Bucky from Hydra. He did it once and he would do it again. He followed him to war, he followed him in death, and now that they both were somehow alive in this new century, Steve would follow him here, too. 

“Before I went under, before my last mission, I told Peggy Carter that I wasn’t gonna stop until all of Hydra was dead or captured. I thought that was what I was doing when I crashed, but it wasn’t. This time, I’ll make sure to finish it. I won’t stop until every single one of those bastards is in the ground.”

“If you’re going after Hydra, you’ll need help. If you go in alone, they’ll have you killed before you can do anything,” Natasha reminded him. 

It wasn’t unlike anything Peggy had told him all those years ago. He would’ve stormed the last Hydra base on his own, immediately after their conversation in the bar, but she warned him about the dangers of going in alone, especially when he was so furious. Going after them by himself would be reckless and dangerous and so incredibly him. At least back in the 40’s he had a team. He supposed he did technically have a team now. The Avengers. They didn’t quite compare to the one he had lost, and he did miss the Howling Commandos more and more with each passing day, and he wasn’t sure how much he could really trust them with the mission at hand. 

But he did trust Natasha. He still wasn’t entirely sure why she instilled such an innate feeling of trustworthiness in him, especially with her past as a spy, but she did. “If, and I mean if, I was going to put together a team, who would you suggest?” Steve asked. 

Not even taking a moment to think it over, Natasha replied, “Start with Nick Fury. He’s known Pierce for decades. If there’s anything we can use to get more information about how Pierce has been growing Hydra, Fury will know how to get it.

“I wouldn’t suggest bringing the full Avengers team into it. That’d turn a lot of heads before we even began, and you definitely don’t want that now. You met Maria Hill, right? She works pretty close with Fury and would probably be helpful.”

Steve thought about her two suggestions for a second and decided that as long as he could get them both on board, Fury and Hill would be valuable members of a team. He still wasn’t sure how deep Hydra ran through SHIELD, but from what he knew, it seemed as though they were both on the good side. He hoped. 

“Anyone else?” Steve asked. 

“It would be helpful to some regular agents on your side. Either as backup for whatever attack you definitely already have planned or just to know that you have other people on your side. My girlfriend, Sharon, would be willing to help either way.”

That made Steve pause. “Your girlfriend?”

The look Natasha gave him after asking that question seemed to more of a challenge than anything else. A challenge to ask another question, a challenge to say something else. “Is that a problem, Rogers?”

“I just, I, I’ve never heard someone so openly about that before. Not in a positive way, anyway,” Steve attempted to explain. 

“Let me ask again. Is that a problem?”

“No! Absolutely not! If I had a problem with that from you then it would mean I had a problem with myself, and I don’t.”

Backing off, Natasha asked, “Did you just come out?”

“I, that’s not important. Tell me more about the team,” was all Steve could respond. It was enough for Natasha to know the conversation was over, for now at least.

They had already spent too much time just chatting. Time Steve hadn’t wanted to waste. He agreed with Natasha; he did need back up. This wasn’t a mission he could take on by himself. Before, he had the Commandos, and now he had the few people that Natasha trusted, and all he could do was hope that he could trust her judgment as they came up with the logistics and she made some phone calls to some very important people.

\- 

After Natasha left, Steve decided to do a little more research on his own. His new friend, if he could even call her that, was in charge of contacting the rest of their team and arranging a meeting point for the next day. They had to find somewhere safe and secure, where they could be sure that no one was eavesdropping. Initially, Steve had suggested just having everyone come to his apartment, but Natasha pointed out that that could cause suspicion if anyone spotted them. She promised him that she had a location in mind and would pick him up, claiming that everyone else knew where to go.

He suspected that she wouldn’t just give him the address because she didn’t want to leave a paper trail, but he wasn’t too concerned. He would take all the help he could get.

Reopening his laptop, he noticed that he still had one of the websites about Bucky open. It took everything in him not to slam the computer shut, not to throw it away and never have to face the picture staring back at him. But he didn’t. He quickly closed the tab before tears would well up in his eyes, knowing that getting emotional now would only be a distraction, and a distraction meant time taken away from saving Bucky.

Instead, Steve opened a new page and began typing.

Alexander Pierce

He wasn’t entirely sure what he expected to pop up; maybe some glaring warning that the man was actually a member of Hydra and that Steve should have known that fact before meeting him. There was nothing about that though. The results mostly consisted of official government pages noting his roles as Secretary, think pieces about his policies and the work he had been doing, and news articles regarding public opinion. 

Not even the slightest suggestion that the man was the leader of a Nazi organization.

Deciding that this search wasn’t getting him anywhere, Steve tried something else.

Hydra

It wasn’t necessarily surprising to see that all the information on Hydra reported that it had died 70 years prior, with the end of the war and the death of the Red Skull. As far as he could tell, there wasn’t even any speculation that it was still a functioning organization. Everyone assumed that it had just vanished.

That could complicate things for Steve. In order to succeed in rescuing Bucky, and by extension, taking down Hydra, he would need to overthrow multiple political figureheads, an intelligence agency, and god only knew what else. Sure, the public loved Captain America as a propaganda symbol, but would they trust him now? Would they understand that he was protecting them from something far worse than the chaos that would inevitably follow?

He could only hope. That was all he seemed to have left. 

-

Steve didn’t remember falling asleep. He didn’t even remember climbing into bed, but that was where he woke up, with a framed photograph of the Howling Commandos clutched in his hand. It was one of the few personal decorations he even had in the apartment, a reminder of the people who meant the most to him. They didn’t have many pictures together, especially not of the entire unit, but he had tracked down all the ones he could find. Looking at it now brought all the memories back; of all the times he would never have again. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to do that day. Natasha hadn’t told him what time she was picking him up, so he didn’t want to leave, but he also didn’t want to waste time waiting around. Bucky was being held prisoner, and Steve was laying in his bed waiting for something to do. That wouldn’t work. Everything else he could be spending his time doing felt meaningless. 

-

The wait ended up not being very long. Within an hour of waking up, Steve got a text from Natasha saying she was outside.

Steve wasn’t sure where he expected Natasha to take him. She had been secretive about it, that could’ve meant anything. He assumed they were probably going to a safe house or an abandoned building, but as they got further and further from New York, he grew more and more confused. The skyline was of the city was getting smaller in the rear view mirror as they drove on. 

Eventually, Natasha pulled down what Steve could only guess was a dirt driveway. They were no longer anywhere near the city, and the scenery had shifted from concrete and gray to forestry and green. At the end of the driveway, Steve could see a little cabin, and he thought that he was right about this being a safe house. 

There was another car parked outside the cabin, belonging to the other members of their makeshift team. Steve could tell just by looking at it that it was heavily armored, which made him feel a little safer about conducting their top secret meeting in the middle of the woods.

-

Following Natasha inside, Steve realized he wasn’t entering a safe house, it was a home. Natasha’s home, that she had selflessly invited Steve into because he was in desperate need of help. Because he needed someone like her to help. There were photographs hanging on the walls, snacks littered on the kitchen counter, jackets hung by the door. It quite obviously wasn’t a location that was typically used for secret rendezvous between a super soldier and the teammates whose trust he was hoping to earn. 

But, it was the kindest thing anyone had done for him since he woke up from the ice, and he couldn’t have been more grateful to have Natasha on his side. 

Walking into the living room, Steve was greeted by the sight of three people sitting on various chairs and couches, two he had met before and one he had not. The first were Nick Fury and Maria Hill, and the third he presumed was Natasha’s girlfriend. They all looked up as he entered. 

Natasha took a seat next to the unknown woman and began the makeshift meeting with introductions, “Steve, you already know Nick and Maria. This is my girlfriend, Sharon.”

The blonde, Sharon, stuck out her hand for Steve to shake, saying, “Sharon Carter. Nice to meet you.”

“Carter as in...” Steve began to ask. 

Sharon looked surprised for a brief moment, then she seemed to suddenly remember why Steve might be asking. “Peggy’s my aunt. I forgot you two used to know each other.”

Steve nodded at that, not knowing how to respond. Sharon being related to Peggy could complicate things, especially when it came to dismantling SHIELD. He had no way of knowing how she would feel about taking part in something that could potentially ruin her aunt’s legacy. 

Turning to face that room, Steve said, “Thank you all for coming.”

“And why exactly are we here, Captain?” Fury asked. 

In that moment, Steve realized exactly how powerful and trustworthy Natasha really was. He was positive it wasn’t easy to convince Nick Fury to show up unexpectedly when he wasn’t even aware of what the point of it was, but Natasha had managed to persuade him. He’d need to remember to thank her after this was all over. 

Deciding that the easiest way to begin was by dropping the biggest news first, he said, “Hydra is growing inside SHIELD.” 

He had decided on the ride over that to everyone else, except Natasha, who already knew, he would frame the mission as being about ridding SHIELD of the infestation, rather than about Bucky. Rescuing Bucky was his personal duty, and he wasn’t letting anyone stand in his way. No one else had to know about it.

“Hydra, as in the rogue Nazi science organization you fought in World War II?” Maria asked carefully.

Steve nodded. “I’m going after them, but I need help. I was hoping all of you would join me, but I understand if you don’t want to.”

“Captain, I know things have probably been hard for you since you got out of the ice, but this is a serious accusation. I can’t have you ‘going after’ SHIELD just because you have a feeling that something is going on. Cleaning up after all the aliens is already a challenge, we don’t need you adding to that,” Fury responded.

He hadn’t really expected anyone to believe him. After all, he had just been pulled out of the 1940’s a few days prior, and they were all high ranking members of the agency he was accusing of being secretly run by a long dead terrorist group. 

“Alexander Pierce told me himself.”

Everyone in the room was silent after hearing that revelation. All eyes remained focused directly on Steve, but he could see the uncertainty on all of their faces. They were all skeptical, excluding Natasha, who had already been told. 

“That man turned down a Nobel Peace Prize, and you’re telling me that he admitted to you that he’s been a member of Hydra this entire time? When would he have even said this to you?” Fury asked. 

Steve glances at Natasha, silently wondering if they should’ve decided on a story to tell the rest of their team. He hadn’t told her that he didn’t want Bucky brought up, but he wished he had. Maybe then they could’ve come up with a story working around that particular detail. 

He’d do the best he could to evade, “One of the agents on the STRIKE team invited me out for what he told me would be an ‘initiation.’ When I showed up, Pierce was there, and he explained to me that he was leading Hydra from inside SHIELD.”

“Which agent?” Sharon asked. 

Steve realized that he didn’t actually know what Sharon’s role at SHIELD was. Natasha had mentioned getting a “regular” agent to help, but he knew that Sharon had to have a higher role than that of a standard agent. He couldn’t imagine that a desk worker would be invited to a classified meeting, regardless of whether or not she was dating Natasha.

“His name’s Brock Rumlow. He’s on the STRIKE team.”

“Entitled bastard,” Sharon mumbled, clearly recognizing the name. “Sorry, you can continue.”

“That’s, that’s all I have.”

“You’re kidding,” Maria stated.

“You’re telling us that SHIELD has been overtaken by a rogue Nazi group, and your only evidence is that Alexander Pierce told you,” Fury said, seeming to be asking for confirmation. 

Without even looking, Steve knew Natasha was staring at him. He knew she was waiting for him to the rest of the group what he had told her the night before. She expected him to tell about Bucky, probably because that information would boost his credibility, but he didn’t want to. Bucky’s capture was his failure, and he had to be the one to resolve it. 

The rest of the team could take down SHIELD, Steve knew they were more than capable, but he was the only one who could save Bucky. 

“I know I’m asking for a lot, but you have to trust me. I don’t know how long Hydra’s been growing inside SHIELD, but it’s at the point that they have total control, other than the people in this room. Someone needs to stop them before they do something we can’t fix, and it needs to be done soon.”

“Did Pierce mention anything they might be planning? Is there any other information, at all, that could help us?” Sharon asked. 

“No, I’m sorry, but all he told me was that it exists.”

“I’m sorry, Captain, but what were the circumstances of your meeting with Pierce that allowed you gain the knowledge of Hydra’s existence and absolutely nothing else?” was Fury’s next question. 

Steve hesitated, then answered, “As I said before, Rumlow invited me out, and I didn’t know Pierce would be there. He was trying to determine if he could trust me, and I didn’t think asking questions would help achieve that.”

It was a lie. He didn’t want Pierce to trust him, he was just too shocked at the time to even think about questioning anything else. Then, he was reunited with Bucky and all coherent thoughts left his brain and he was stuck standing there, confused and hurt and disgusted, and unable to do anything. 

“Do you think he would’ve told you if they were planning anything, just to see if they could trust you?” Maria asked. 

“Maybe, I can’t be sure, but he did want to test me, to have me prove that I was loyal to them.”

“Then we have time to figure this out. We don’t have to do something dramatic like downing a plane in the Arctic. We get rid of Hydra, then SHIELD moves on like nothing happened, no need to worry the public or involve any outsiders,” said Fury. 

Natasha glanced backed toward Steve, telling him with a look that he had no choice but to reveal the true nature of the operation if they wanted to be trusted completely. “We only have until tomorrow morning. This has to be done today, tonight at the latest. And we aren’t just moving on. SHIELD, Hydra, it all goes.”

“Why does it have to be done so soon?” Maria asked. 

It probably would’ve been best if they had time to come up with a solid, detailed plan, but Steve didn’t work like that. The Howling Commandos didn’t often have the luxury of sitting back and scheming for days, weeks, or months. They got intel, decided on the best way to deal with that situation, and moved. Although, planning like that lead to Bucky falling to his supposed death, so perhaps Steve should’ve tried to figure out a way to buy them some day. 

There was no way he could. As long as Bucky was hurting, Steve would do anything and everything he could to stop it. Whatever it takes. 

“That part is... complicated.”

“Explain it, now.”

Glancing at Natasha, Steve realized this was it. This was the moment he admitted that he had failed. Sure, everyone was already thinking it, when they understood that Steve hadn’t taken down Hydra when he went under, but this, this was bigger. This was his life’s purpose going unfulfilled, and whether or not they knew it, he was confessing something more important than just a part of a story, part of an explanation. 

He was confessing to defeat.

“There’s one thing I haven’t been completely honest with you all about, except Natasha. Last night when I met with Rumlow and Pierce, they showed me something, or well, someone. I believe you’re all familiar with the name ‘Winter Soldier,’’ Steve noticed everyone in the room take a sharp breath at the name, “but I’ve always known him as Bucky.”

Steve paused, trying to remain calm and collected, not wanting to have a breakdown in front of his new team. “Hydra captured him after he fell. They’ve had him for 70 years, but he doesn’t remember anything. He didn’t even know me. I heard them they were taking him to D.C. tomorrow morning, so that’s why we have to move fast. I can’t lose him, not again.”

Everyone was quiet, not knowing what to say. Steve didn’t feel the need to say anything else, having already explained more than he ever wanted to. The rest of the room was trying to process what they had just heard, clearly stunned by the news that not only was Sergeant James Barnes still alive, but he was taken by Hydra and turned into in assassin against his will.

It was a lot to take in.

“Steve, I’m so sorry. Peggy told me how much he meant to you. I can’t even imagine how hard this must be,” Sharon said.

“We’ll do whatever we can to help,” Maria expressed.

Steve just nodded; glad he didn’t have to elaborate further about the horrors he saw in the bank vault the night before. As long as people knew Bucky had been his best friend before he went into the ice, they would understand why this was so important to him.

“I need to help him; it’s what he would’ve done for me. That’s why we need to do this soon. I’m not letting him get away again.”

Sharon gave Steve a small smile before saying, “We’ll help you get him back.”

“Thank you, all of you. I know this is sudden, and there isn’t a lot of proof that this is even happening, but I really appreciate your help. I already started planning part of it, but-

Fury interrupted before Steve could finish, “One more question, Captain. Why did Rumlow invite you out in the first place? Did you two know each other?”

Steve and Natasha glanced at each other, both realizing at the same time that no one knew about the time travel theory other than the Avengers. It wasn’t that Steve didn’t want to tell his new team, or that he didn’t think they were trustworthy, but he worried that introducing the idea of time travelers miraculously showing up would distract from the important issues at hand. 

Ultimately, he didn’t have to worry about telling them anything because Natasha spoke up for the first time since the conversation began. “After the battle was finished, some weird things started happening. One of which was, um, another Steve showing up, along with another Tony and Bruce. The other Steve got in an elevator with the STRIKE team and convinced them to give him Loki’s scepter; we’re pretty sure he told them he was part of Hydra. The working theory is that they time traveled from the future, but we don’t really have any proof. Bruce and Tony are working on it.”

A chorus of “What?” could be heard from around the room.

“I know it doesn’t make sense,” Steve began, “but there are a lot of things that we don’t understand right now. I need you all to trust me. Once we get Hydra taken care of, we can figure this time travel thing, but for now, I need everyone to focus on this mission. Please.”

The confusion in everyone’s eyes gradually shifted to acceptance, as they all nodded.

“Thank you. Now, I already have a plan to rescue Bucky, but I’m gonna need help with a distraction.”

“I’ll do it,” Natasha volunteered.

Steve gave her a look of gratitude before continuing, “Fury, is there anything you can think of, anything at all that could confirm to the public that what we’re saying is true? Anything that would prove SHIELD, or Pierce’s, link to Hydra?”

Fury thought for a moment before replying, “There was one thing he mentioned to me yesterday. Give me until tonight, and I’ll have it for you. Carter, you think you can help me information?”

Sharon nodded in confirmation. “Definitely.”

That only left one person without a task. Steve turned to Maria and said, “Can you keep watch and let us know if it looks like anyone’s going to interfere with then plan?”

“Of course.”

That settled it. The team was ready, they were prepared. The spent a few more minutes trying to iron out the details, then everyone went their separate, having to pretend everything was normal for the next for hours before turning the world upside down.

-

“I was going to give this to you earlier, but I wanted to do it in private,” Natasha said, after she pulled Steve away from the group. “I called in a few favors from Kiev. I don’t know how helpful it’ll be, but it’s a start.”

She handed Steve a folder, and he took it, curiously. Opening the front cover, he was surprised to see Bucky. Not just the Bucky he had seen strapped to a chair in a bank vault, but his Bucky. Staring straight back at him was a black and white photograph of Bucky in his uniform, from the early days of the war. From before he was taken as a prisoner, tortured, and experimented on. The reminder of the previous time they shared pulled at Steve’s heart, and he continued to look further into the folder.

Behind the small picture of Bucky from the 1940’s was a more recent photo, this one featuring Bucky in what Steve could only assume was the cryofreeze tube. The majority of the picture was tinted blue, with what Steve guessed was ice, but he would clearly see Bucky, with his eyes closed.

Most of the documents in the folder were written in Russian, so he couldn’t make out what they said. He would have to ask Natasha or figure out another way to translate, but it was a start. It was the most information he had on Bucky, and he wouldn’t take it for granted. 

He put it aside, knowing that it would be more useful later, when they actually recovered Bucky. For now, he had to prepare for the mission, and then after, after he would be able to focus entirely on helping Bucky.

The only uniform he officially had was the glorified onesie he wore during the alien fight, but he wanted something sturdier. He had mentioned it casually to Fury before he left to begin carrying out his part of the plan and had been shocked to learn that the man had Steve’s belongings from the crash, including his suit, in his car, waiting for him. Steve took them gladly.

Putting on his old uniform, Steve was surprised by what was inside one of the pockets. One of the only things that the crew who found him had been able to save was his old compass, the one with Peggy’s picture in it. Steve wasn’t entirely sure how the picture had remained intact for the duration of his time in the ice, but it was still there, preserved.

Of all the belongings he still had from his old life, the compass was probably the most meaningless, but people around him didn’t realize that. They saw it in all his old propaganda films as a symbol of his love for Peggy, but no one knew that the only reason he even had her picture in it was because a director thought it would help sell more bonds. Something about the idea of inspiring the women back home into thinking their husbands and sons had similar mementos. Steve didn’t even know where the picture of Peggy had come from; one of the many producers had handed it to him and instructed him to make sure it ended up front and center in the shot. 

Sure, he had used it as a comfort when he crashed into the Arctic, and he assumed whoever found it put in his uniform pocket because of this. It was nice feeling like one of his closest friends was with him on the way down. But, the compass didn’t represent his feelings, and it felt outdated.

Steve carefully removed the picture of Peggy from the glass, careful not to tear it. Then, he picked up the file Natasha had given him, the one with all the information they had about the Winter Soldier, and what had become of Bucky Barnes over the past few years. He took the small photograph at the front of the file and stared at it for a moment, unable to comprehend the fact that the man in the picture, his best friend who he watched die, was still alive.

It took him a few minutes to find a pair of scissors in Sharon and Natasha’s house, but he managed. Picking them up, he carefully cut the corners off the picture of Bucky, until it was a perfect circle. He then placed the new photo into the compass, before closing the glass, so it would be protected from outside harm. 

This mission was for Bucky. He was going to find his best friend and bring him home. The compass would point him in the right direction, the one toward his happy ending, his new life, and the one thing from his past that no one would ever be able to take from him again.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr @avengercarol


End file.
